I’m a really friendly person. Like the kind of friendly who talks to random strangers in the grocery store, or in line at Lowes, or wherever I am really. My husband says I’m a “social butterfly,” and I guess that’s pretty much true. But there is a downside to overt friendliness for me. I’ve shared about this problem before.
Instead of saying something clever or smooth or normal, I had what I call an “I carried a watermelon” moment. (From Dirty Dancing…when that’s all Baby can think to say about why she’s at the staff dance party….awkward verbal moments…you know what I’m talking about.) Anyways, I met Joe McIntyre when I was working at a Top 40 radio station several years back and he was interviewing on the air. The morning show was over, I went upstairs to check the advertising logs (I sold advertising) and Joe walked back in to take a picture with the morning show guys. And there I was. So when introduced, it went something like this….
Morning show guys: “Hey Logan, have you met Joe? This is Joe.”
Me: “No, I haven’t. Hey. When I was a kid I totally painted your name on my Keds in puff paint.”
I totally carried a watermelon! What the crap?!….Puff Paint?!?! (Don’t worry Rebecca Kirkland…I didn’t take you down with me, even though you were my accomplice in the puff paint shenanigans.)
So today, I had another verbal and social moronic moment.
We went to Arbys to meet a friend for lunch after she’d invited Tid Bit to one of those inflatable jumping places this morning. When I walked in (holding Hudson mind you,) the manager was sort of hilariously trying to scratch his back on the wall. Clearly one of those hard to reach middle-of-the-back itches. He kinda laughed and said “I can’t get it!” SO without thinking much about it I was like “turn around…I’ll scratch it for you!”
So I scratched the random manager’s back at Arbys. To which he then says “Well hey. So, what are you up to later…tonight…or another time?”
I was completely mortified and awkwardly waved my left hand in the air laughing and saying “I’m so sorry…I’m totally married….totally married….totally married!”
Um….awkward. Especially when I realized that I wasn’t even wearing my wedding band! Thankfully I didn’t launch into the reason I wasn’t wearing it….got eczema after I had my first child, it gets worse when I take a shower, forgot to put it back on, now waving my hand around like a moron as if I’m sporting it anyways.
Oh have mercy. Then he offered to carry my tray since I was holding the baby and I said “oh…I see…I scratch your back, you scratch mine?!” trying to lighten the already awkward cloud in the air that I’d caused.
One day perhaps I’ll find a remedy for my chronic conversational colitis. (yeah, that’s just another clever way I came up with to say verbal diarrhea.) Til then maybe I can just on occasion try to….
Hope today you eat more of your own food than words!