You know that game people play…”Would you rather” this or that? Well I’ve been playing that game with myself the past several days. And it’s gotten pretty rough…the scenarios I have come up with in the “I would rather _____ than _____” realm.
We have this totally hilarious game called Zobmondo. I got it years ago and it’s an entire game of “would you rathers.” I’m really not even sure how to actually play the game, because in a group of people it’s mostly just hilarious to start reading them out and making people answer. And you HAVE to choose one or the other. There’s no opting out or creating your own scenario. You pick an answer and then it’s really best to defend your reasoning…mostly because it’s more hilarious that way.
The past few days I’ve been SOOOO sick. First the actual stomach bug had me hugging the toilet (the one in kids bathroom down the hall since our septic tank is still acting up and our master bath toilet doesn’t work at all.) Then, after one day of fresh air and life feeling like it was back to normal, WHAM!!!….morning sickness like I have NEVER known it. I spent the greater part of church yesterday in the ladies room with my head hovering over the can in stall #3. It was horrendous. I threw up more yesterday than I ever did in all of my previous pregnancies combined….8 times people. EIGHT TIMES!
My husband said to me as I was crying and puking yesterday…”Babe, I’m SO sorry. I know you’d rather poop Christmas trees three times a day than have to throw up.”
And you know what…that actually sounds better to me….pooping Christmas trees. There are very few things that I hate more than throwing up.
I would rather get a tattoo than throw up.
I would rather do laundry than throw up.
I would rather have a c-section than throw up.
I would rather a LOT of things than throw up. It’s just one of the worst things ever. But all of this “would you rather” playing in my head made me think of a few really funny ones from that game and I thought I’d share in case you need a good laugh this Monday. (Make yourself choose an answer to really have a laugh to yourself.) Here goes…
Would you rather…always have to eat the same food OR never be able to eat the same food twice?
Would you rather…drink a gallon of lard OR eat a bucket full of toenails?
Would you rather…have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?
Would you rather….find a dead fly in your salad OR a long thick hair in your ice cream? (Ok, and as an aside to this one, years ago when I worked in a restaurant as a cook, I somehow served a lady a salad with a GIANT grub worm in it! The restaurant got mixed greens in huge bags that had been prewashed and sorted, just like you get at the grocery store, and I guess this little bugger made it through all the processes. And yes…it was still ALIVE! I was mortified, but surely not so much as she was when she found it at the end of her meal! AWFUL!)
And here’s the one that anyone who’s ever played agrees is really the most horrible, but really terribly funny as well….
Would you rather….spend your life with a penis on your forehead OR a scrotum on your chin?!
I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking I might rather throw up!
Give me a good reason to laugh friends….answer one of these for me in the comments? Come on…it’ll be fun!