First off, I’m admiting to you that in college I watched this show. What a colossal un-doing of all that higher learning I was there for! LOL!
But the quote is true isn’t it? Time passes fast. I love that and I hate that. And, somewhere in there sometimes, the days begin to feel like sand passing through…just passing, and it’s easy to forget all the life itself that’s actually doing the passing. And some days are just plain days aren’t they?
It feels like “one of those days” today.
I don’t know why. It’s gorgeous outside. My kids have been pretty good (other than when I was on the phone with the insurance company and Tid Bit kept asking me stuff.) I’ve gotten some things done around the house. But still, it just feels like one of those days.
I keep thinking that I need about 2 days where I don’t have to do anything for anyone. I want to be completely selfish and sleep when I want, eat when and what I want, sew if I want to, make jewelry if I want to, shop just because I want to. I want to go and try on clothes for a few hours that I don’t even care about buying. Well…maybe buy a couple of things, but I just want to have the time to figure out what clothes I even like anymore. I don’t want to just grab something that looks cute on the mannequin, who is 4 sizes smaller than me with no boobs, and think “let’s hope this works on me too so that I don’t have to drag my kids out again to return it.”
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!
I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. But I really feel myself getting to the point where I just need some time for myself. And not just in a 3 hour chunk. I mean, like 2 WHOLE DAYS!
You know that you are reaching this point when you consider weaning just so you can get it. The time I mean. When you feel less patient, more tired, more easily set off, more selfish about the tiny things here and there.
Mothering is the MOST selfless thing I’ve ever done. I think those of you who are moms out there would agree. But have mercy… after awhile of day in and out, hour in and out, meal in and out, laundry in and out, cleaning up and down and all around, shuttling to and fro, fixing this and that….I need to find me again.
So I guess that’s why despite the amazingness of today’s weather, it’s still “one of those days.”
Like sands through the hourglass huh?
Please for heaven’s sake…comment today?! To make me feel better, and because I want to hear that I’m not the only person who finds myself feeling like this 13 amazing and exhausting months after having my last baby!