“Make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver and the other gold.”
We sang it every week in my girl scout troop that met at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Hickory, NC.
I wonder that those words haven’t become an anthem of sorts for me over the years even…reminding me of seasons that come and go, of changes both hard and full of blessing.
“Make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver and the other gold.”
This morning as my sons both begged me to have playdates with new friends from school, the song came ringing back into my head as I introduced myself on facebook to the mothers of their friends. Because in our home, the way we roll is that if I don’t know mommies pretty well, my kids don’t get to play anywhere other than our house.
“Mommy, can Matthew come to play? Can Cam come to play?” The excitement in my boys’ voices reminded me what a sweet gift that friendship is to us all. And these new friends they’ve made have certainly been floating around our dinner table conversation frequently.
Our morning began with an almost palpable sense of excitement simply by extension of just two friend requests. My kids were over the moon excited to see me reach out to make new friends on their behalf. And it occurred to me that so often, my children have been gateways to new friendships for me too. Some of my dearest friends (old and new) have come through my children.
There is a sweet thing that happens raising kids together, and it is my heart that as my kids grow our home becomes a revolving door of teenagers and kids staying over for dinner and knowing that our home is one that always welcomes. Because if there is one thing I know about hospitality, it extends invitation often by simply creating space to be available.
There is a direct connection between generous hospitality and general availability.
I’ve noticed the past year in particular as my kids have begun to play sports, take music lessons, and even I’ve been working and writing, that time somehow gets zapped up and the anthem of our lives can become more like this:
Last weekend we drove to the mountains to spend time with my dear friend Sarah Mae and her family. They drove nearly 10 hours to spend a long weekend with us, and as we watched our children root deeper into friendships of their own, it was balm to all of our souls to make time for one another. We are all busy people…between commitments and projects, jobs and books, it would be easy to say that we simply didn’t have time to steal away for no reason other than togetherness. And sometimes maybe it can be easier to steal away completely, but how about in your daily life? Do you make time to have unscheduled time?
Yesterday I talked with my friend and assistant Mandy about my schedule over the next few months leading up to the Curious Faith book launch. While I do have a LOT to keep me busy during the days when my kids are at school, I asked her to please schedule in time for nothing. It seems almost counterintuitive to schedule time of unscheduled time, but in this season that I know will be busy, I don’t want to become a person who has no time for free time. I don’t want to become a person who has no time for making new friends…or keeping the old.
If I am never available, then I begin to wonder if I can actually be hospitable. If I want to be generous in my hospitality, then I need to be intentional about my availability. If there isn’t time to make new friends, or keep the old, then what kind of friend does that make me? And what kind of friend does that teach my children to become? I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I was much much too busy to really live… do you?
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.- Jn 15:13
How about you? Are you much much too busy? What richness in your life do you think you might be missing by keeping a schedule that doesn’t create space for freedom? Would love to hear your thoughts below!
So, so true!! It seems to take much more work now to be free and for other families to be free at the same time. It’s taken weeks of coordinating just to arrange for Max to take a friend with him to AWANA on Sunday. Good reminder to up this as a priority!
Oh yes, this is very good. Sometimes we don’t even take the time to realize HOW busy we are because we are TOO busy to think about it. Excellent points here!!